DEPARTURE CHAOS [OF COURSE]

Yup… the post title only tells half the tale.  Yes, they got outta Dodge, relatively un-scathed and with little if no drama.

Well, almost that is if you don’t count that first:

SHE woke up with a full blown, nose dribbling, sinus aching, watery eyed, mind numbing case of whatever the grand-sons have and then some.

So after HE made another sortie to Walgreens for some Pepto-Bismol and more cold relief stuff, it was time to tend to most of the pre-exit gathering of the “Stuff”, make her salt-water, peroxide gargle, administer appropriate cold relief medication, roust Henry to Uber us to the airport, etc…etc…etc.

Now the trip to FLL was uneventful with Henry making Chucky nutz since He drives like a little old lady…

OK, OK… like a “Real” truck driver, obeying the speed limit [if not a tad under] and just noodling along. 

And arrival at FLL was uneventful until…

they got to the TSA PreCheck line where of course the sharp eyed and Quite Stern Lady TSA Agent spotted his “over-stuffed” [not by his standards] LUGgage and proceeded to instruct him to try cramming it into their “measuring device”.  Which of course forced him to shuffle “stuff” between the other carry-ons until Lovely TSA Lady gave up watching the struggle and waived him on.  Wellll HE does sigh a lot during these exercises… if for nothing else than comic relief, it Does make DL Chuckle watching his act.

Then it was on the, “Let’s Check your Id and Boarding Pass Guy, who had some proper jokes about not forgetting to dump any water,

   “Airports don’t like water.”

Seriously!?!

Then on to the Security Scanner thingy, which of course picked up the little packet of tools that he always carries… JUST IN CASE [don’t laugh… they saved a damaged suitcase wheel in China, and the same wheel again on a trip to a family reunion] soooo it was over to the unpack it all, explosive scan and overall, glare at the passenger while sorting through the LUGgage table.  Pretty much what Chucky expected from past experience.  Although the tiny medical sized hammer he has carried on the past 5 trips all of a sudden was too long to travel, so it stayed  with the TSA at Fll while he and DL proceeded to the boarding gate for the flight to JFK… 

After they had to unpack and re-scan the other bag with all the medications, electronics, laptop etc… 

   "Too much electronics for the Scanner Thingy to see right"

Says Jovial TSA bag Check guy.

A first for sure, must be all this stuff about laptop bombs.

On the way to Gate D1 as indicated in his FlyDelta APP, HE gets a text from Delta of a gate change directing them to Gate D2, so they head over there and find a spot to wait for the bus.

Of course now HE just has to wander over to the check-in desk to see if all is on time when he notices that D2 is headed to Cincinnati… WTF? 

Now another text comes in with another gate change, back to D1. Not an issue until he notices the sign at D1 announcing that they are now boarding their ZONE.  Now it’s a mad dash to get aboard in time to have enough space to stuff their “Stuff” in the overhead… only to find that this flight is headed to Atlanta.  WTF X 2!!!

After sorting it out with the gate agent, that this flight is indeed headed to Atlanta, but HIS BUS will use this gate later, they settle in at GAte D1, only to get ANOTHER text advising that the BUS is delayed and they may miss their connection at JFK.  WTF x 3!!!

Another confab with the Delightful Gate agent sets him at ease that while late getting to FLL the Bus Driver will make up time in the air on the way to JFK and they WILL make the connection.  This of course with fingers crossed as they have to take a shuttle from JFK terminal 2 to terminal 4 and then hustle to the departing gate, halfway to THE OTHER END of LONG ISLAND!!!  Oh Joy!

Then comes the announcement:

   “Would Passengers Mercurio come to the desk with their passports?”

WTF X 4!!!

That’s when he remembered that the last time they connected with an international flight they got stopped at the gate for a passport check. And of course… HER passport goes through, but HIS buzzes the machine.

WTF X 5!!!

   “Oooppps.”

Goes Delightful but not so nimble of finger Gate Agent guy.

   “I keyed in the wrong expiration date… sorry.”

As Chucky came down from the ceiling with a “Wheewwww” and hearty thank you to the much Chagrinned Gate agent, for letting his Heart resume normal cadence.

Since this is being composed in-flight and the snacks and wine trolley is coming down the aisle, we'll pick this up later… if there is a later.

Forget the wine… Do you have Dewars Maam?

Ciao 4 Now

Uncle Chuck & The still groggy,

Dragon Lady